Fat Stock Show

I regret that the Fat Stock Show in Ft. Worth is now the “Livestock” show.  The earlier name had  a lot more character.  I am still upset at what happened in 1958.  I was on the midway and participated in a “guess your weight” session.  The guesser missed my weight by a lot, 30 pounds or so, and yet I still only got a gift from the bottom shelf.  He would have had to be wrong by a hundred pounds for me to get the big gift.  It’s just not fair. Another Ft. Worth native told me tonight that she couldn’t pop a balloon in one of the midway events when she was in her youth, so she swiped the prize and ran away.  The “barker” chased her and retrieved the purloined item.  She said that she has “gone straight” since then.  The midway at the old stock show was nothing like the State Fair Midway.  Since we got a day off from school we went anyway, but nobody much cared about the animal exhibits.  I am sure the 4-H types did, but we were big-city folks.  The only thing I really enjoyed at Will Rogers Coliseum in Ft. Worth was the Shrine Circus.  Since we were boy scouts, we got to walk under the big caterpillar in the opening ceremonies.  All we had to do was walk under a 50 foot long imitation caterpillar around the arena one time.  After that, we got free admission to the circus.  We went several times, but finally got bored with that too. 

The Spa

I just made a reservation for Spa Ixtapan de la Sal in Mexico for a bridge tournament.  I called the reservation center, and told them that my wife and I would be there from March 1 through March 8.  She asked for our names, and I told her we wanted one suite for James and Mary Stewart.  After giving her all the other details, she confirmed the information as a request for 1 room with a king-size bed for Jim and  “Gary” Stewart.  I told her that “Gary” and I had a fight and I was bringing Mary instead.  She dutifully took down the information without comment.

Indoor Golf

I saw my first indoor golf facility on a recent trip to Phoenix.  You hit the ball into a screen and the computer takes over, determining where the ball will go on a video display that is within the screen.   Presumably the computer takes over and determines the trajectory and distance based on where and how hard the ball hits the screen, and you see the image of the ball on the screen as it would be if this were the real world.   The user selects the course he wants to play from about 30 choices from around the country.  I went over to pick up my two male offspring as they were finishing a round.  The younger one, Jimmy, was getting ready to drive a long shot.  Unfortunately, after a long preparation he completely missed the ball.  As he looked around exasperated the other son, Kent, who is always ready with a quip, said “Now you’re ready!”

Drunk Driver

Seen on Wildest Police Videos television program.  Guy is pulled over for drunk driving and given a field sobriety test.  Cop tells him to follow a flashlight with his eyes.  Drunk driver says he can’t because he has a glass eye.  Cop asks him which is his glass eye.  Guy says “both of ‘em.”

Gulf Park College

In 1961, I had a blind date with a student from all-female  Gulf Park College in Biloxi, Mississippi.  The strange thing was that in order to date  one of  these students, everyone had to write home and get a letter of recommendation from his  home town minister.  I got the letter,  and went to a formal at Gulf Park College.  I don’t think that I have ever been around as many “wild” females as I was here.  The formal was “dry,” so all the students  wanted to do  all evening was to find alcohol   Since I lived in New Orleans, alcohol was no big deal for me.  Anyway, I didn’t particularly enjoy the experience, since I felt like I was out with a bunch of high school students.  I learned later that a lot of “problem” students go to school there because of the strict supervision. 

The Sister

In my sophomore year in college, I drove with a fraternity brother  from New Orleans to Mexico  for  a week in glorious Nuevo Laredo.  On the way we toured the famous leper colony in Carville, Louisiana. ( By that time in 1961,  leprosy had become “Hansen’s Disease.”)  Anyway, shortly after the first of the new year that fraternity brother’s sister came to visit in New Orleans, and I had a “date” with her.  This was just a few weeks after I had spent a week with that fraternity brother  on the Mexico trip.  The sister was from Virginia, where females were more “modern” than those in the deep South.  She was, or shall I say would have been, very generous with her affections. There was one insurmountable problem, however.  She looked just like a female version of her brother.  As the evening progressed, I was forced to tell her that I was afraid that I would not make a very good companion for her, since every time I looked at her I saw him.  She seemed to take it in stride, and we were cordial for the rest of the evening. 

Fiesta Bowl 2009

We just got back from Phoenix and the Fiesta Bowl.  The last bowl I attended was the Cotton Bowl in 1984? when SMU played Pitt (led by Dan Marino).  Things have come a long way since then.  We got to the stadium early (like 4 hours ) to try to beat the crowds, yet there were  still  lots of people walking around.   The tailgate party has become a big deal, at least at this stadium.  Some tailgate setups looked like little restaurants, with tents and fancy grills of all kinds.  We walked over to a shopping center nearby, but had to wait 45 minutes for a table, with lots of milling 20 and 30 somethings.  We saw two individuals handcuffed and sitting on a curb, waiting for a ride to the police station.   Someone said that they were caught pickpocketing.  The security line to get in the stadium was a block long, so my enterprising middle child went up to the handicapped entrance and asked if he could bring me through there because of my age.  Surprisingly the guy agreed, and we went in quickly and without a problem.  The fans were dressed in burnt orange (UT) or red (Ohio State), but we wore neutral colors.  Actually I had on a green shirt, which I suppose represents Baylor.  Anyway, we had good seats and got to watch a thriller, with a last second UT victory.  One thing I noticed was that there was a lot of down time for TV advertising, so on the field there were all kinds of presentations–widows of firefighters,  elementary school essay writers, etc.  These events were not on television, of course, and  I noticed that after 3 or 4 of these presentations there were not very many clappers in the stands.  It got to be “clap fatigue.”  There were quite a few drinkers, and therefore drunks, in and out of the stadium, a far cry from old Amon Carter Stadium,  where drinking was forbidden and a prayer began every game.  I watched most of the game through binoculars, so I could see all the side action, not just what the cameras wanted me to see.  I noticed that many of the “school colors” displayed had the number and name of star players,  like Colt McCoy.  I thought it might be a good business to have a shirt that said on the front “Mack Brown” and below that “Texas University.”  On the back the shirt could say “Coaching Staff.”  I think that might be a winner.  Anyway, I am working on refining the concept as I write. 

Overheard at the Office

A person at our office overheard one of the staff comment that we needed a new "color cartilage" for our printer.  Another person was overheard saying that he was told that he could not sell a product at a certain price because there was "not enough margarine (margin) " on it.   I am sure that there will be more to come.  My wife said one of her customers told her that a student said that no one can be considered to have a real relationship unless that relationship is on Facebook.